Do You Want Me to Answer that as Your Mom or as Your Coach?

My mother had a running question for me during the nine years that she was my coach. Whenever I would say something to her she would ask ‘Do you want me to answer that as your mom or as your coach?’ The decision was not always easy. When I was upset about a teammate I would normally ask for my Mom but when it was a controversial topic I would always ask for her to be my coach. It was nice of her to offer the distinction for me.

My Mom was the varsity coach at my high school for my Junior and Senior year. There was one time when we were practicing in the auxiliary gym for some reason and my mom and I had this huge blowout where she kicked me out of the gym. Let’s just say the both of us are redheads and everyone else in the gym was quietly going about their drills, being careful to leave the two of us alone. I stormed out of the gym when she kicked me out and paced for quite some time before I went back in and sat on the back wall. I have absolutely no idea what the fight was even about, all I remember is getting kicked out of the gym. All my teammates remember being scared to death of the both of us. They were going through a drill while we were screaming at each other and they were just watching us and silently doing the drill.

Regardless, never once did I mentally question my love for my mother or her authority as my coach. I might have verbally questioned her a few times but we all say hurtful things when we scream at our parents.

One of my favorite stories that my Mother tells me is how she won MVP at a woman’s tournament and then later found out that she had been pregnant with me at the time. Whenever someone asks about my volleyball history, I start it there because even back then, I was on the court with my Mom. She introduced me to volleyball and she was always there and supportive of me even when we butted heads. Some of you know just how difficult it is to be coached by your parent but I learned over time that I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I rely on her and trust her implicitly. I’d turn to her after every play, even when she was supposed to be ‘just a parent.’ Let me just say that my mother has difficulty being just a parent. This was made apparent when I was thirteen playing in a tournament with my best friend and the entire gym heard my Mother yell ‘Kristen Fowler get your butt down!” Apparently my ready position wasn’t low enough. She was right of course. And then she proceeded to yell the same thing at my best friend as well.

Even now, four years since my Mom has been my coach, I still turn to her for her volleyball opinion. We officiate in different leagues but we discuss rules and coaches after nearly every assignment. And I hope that I can be even half the coach she is because she is my ultimate role model as a coach. I’d take Amy Jones over Russ Rose any day.

So today, on my Mom's birthday, I want both my coach and my mom because I've learned over time that they are one and the same. Happy birthday, Mom!